Basically Pissed

I'm sad, confused, and reflective today.

I realized over this past week that the guy I like doesn't really like me.. oh I found out that him and my this girl aren't that serious... but anyway.. here i've been thinking he has been flirting with me and so on but he's really just been nice to me. I need to back off. I want to like him.. I want to flirt with him.. I definately don't want to lose him to her, wow that sounded really evil. Its frustrating that no one has ever been attracted to me in that way and I'll never understand that!! I'm so confused. I wish he was attracted to me but yet he doesn't even think of me as a good friend needless to say anything more than a friend. *sigh* I feel like I'm a lost cause. I guess i'm just plain. I'm not captivating or have this engaging personality. I want God to bless me with a relationship. I don't know.. bleh. I'm kinda hoping 17 is my year and I finally get to know what it is like to be with someone who honestly cares about you and isn't just telling you what you want to hear just so they get you to like them.. What is that like!? I want to know!